Luke’s Notebook

As I was getting ready to submit this, “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus” started playing on the radio. How fitting.

Over the past several years, I have run across many different people that I’ve developed some degree of friendship with, whether it be a casual acquaintance or a pretty close friend. In a lot of those cases, my heart has really gone out for them, and I would just long that they would get to know Jesus. I would do my best to be the best example of Jesus that I could be, to show His love, to do everything that I knew how to point them to Him.

Oftentimes, it would seem that I would have some level of a positive impact on them, and I would be excited to see the new trend in their lives, as they seemed to draw closer to God. That would be such an encouragement, and it would be so neat to see them give their lives to Jesus and to start to get to know Him personally.

As time would pass and I would drift away from them for whatever reason, I would see some people who have grown closer to God and have become very solid and mature Christians. Other people, sadly, would seem to have slipped back into their old lives, as if the word of God, the truth, the sacrifice of Jesus never took root in their lives and never got a chance to grow before struggles, pressures, or temptations of the world suffocated it.

Obviously, that can be really discouraging to see people who have slipped away. I would think, “Well, gosh, if only I was there for them, if I could have remained close to them, if I could have been their support, their encouragement, their accountability.”

Oftentimes, it seems, God will call us to be somebody’s “crutch,” so to speak — to help them, to support them when they are broken — until they are back on their feet and ready to run on their own. But what I seem to be learning lately is that God may call us to be somebody’s crutch or support temporarily, but I think He rarely calls us to be somebody’s prosthetic — a permanent support.

Throwing out the obvious situations, such as family members — where I think we most certainly are called to be a permanent support — I think it’s pretty rare that God wants us to be somebody’s artificial limb. He might want us to help somebody out when they’re broken, but I don’t think it’s often that we’re supposed to be a pillar in their life.

This has kind of been a wake-up call for me, because that goes against the way I tend to approach friendships with people. I want to be a support for people, I want to be able to carry them, to give advice, to counsel them.

But more times than once, I have found myself almost wishing I could just live their life for them. For anybody who has friends who aren’t following Jesus, you probably know exactly what I’m talking about. You worry about them, you don’t know what would happen if they were separated from you for a while, or you would be scared about leaving them alone for a while, because you feel that you need to guide them.

I think God is showing me that it’s a mistake to let anybody depend on me. Their dependence should be squarely on God, and they should be looking to Him, and not me, for everything. I also think that there are definite times where God will want me to help somebody out, to build them up, to shoulder their burdens. But I think in a lot of cases outside of the family, it’s only supposed to be temporary.

For some reason, this is hard for me, because, as I mentioned, that’s just not the way I tend to instinctively handle friendships. If I do something, I want to do it well. I want to be loyal, I want to be involved, I want to be on their side, helping them out however I can. I hate the thought of not being there for somebody.

It’s really hard for me to be a good friend to somebody and not dive in and become intimately involved in whatever is going on in their life, especially if I feel like I can be used to help bring them closer to God. So I almost feel like I’m neglecting my duties if I don’t get down and dirty.

But I think what the wisest thing to do is to simply point people to God as we are counseling somebody, to constantly be letting them know to look to God, not to you. If I ever depend on somebody or let somebody depend on me to the point where I would afraid of what would happen if I couldn’t communicate with them, then I probably made a mistake at some point.

We can’t be Jesus to people. We can’t heal people. We can’t comfort them like He can. We can’t give them peace. Mostly, we can’t forgive them of their sins. There’s no question that we’re oftentimes called to be a part in comforting someone, praying for them, and doing what we can to help get them on their feet again. But if somebody feels like in order for them to have a relationship to God, they have got to be friends with this person, or they have got to go to this church, or they have got to be part of this group — then something is off there.

Obviously, this goes well beyond friendships. People can get attached to a specific ministry, a church, even a worship band or an author. They might rely so much on one of those things that they miss out the simplest step — relying on God. I have to catch myself all the time, that I don’t depend on anything or anyone other than God.

The truth is, if anybody depends on me — or even this website — they will be disappointed. I think it is wonderful if God can use any person or any ministry to be a reinforcement, to be an encouragement, but if somebody is placing all of their weight on anything man-made, they will be let down. Sooner or later, they’ll realize that imperfect humans are behind everything that’s man-made, and they’re bound to disappoint.

So to kind of get back to my point earlier. Many times, I’ve had the scare of thinking “Oh, no! What will happen if I let this person go? Will they fall flat on their face?” What I’m realizing is that there comes a point where we’ve done all that God has called us to do. I do believe there are times where we really need to carry somebody for a period of time, but I don’t think that God wants that to be permanent in most cases.

There comes a point where we have done all that we should do for somebody and we simply need to entrust them into God’s hands. It can be very scary, because we fear that things might collapse if we withdraw our support. But if that’s the case, that’s all the more proof that they need to be seeking God and not us. They should be drawing closer to Him, giving Him their worries.

A lot of times, it’s in somebody’s brokenness that they truly surrender their live to Jesus, that they have a transformation. If somebody is leaning too heavily on you, the most merciful thing to do might just be to back off and point them to God, to let God take care of them That’s where they need to go sooner or later; they need to put all of their trust in Him.

I am not at all suggesting that we should let somebody fall flat on their face or that we should just shrug them off when they’re broken. I just think we need to realize that God doesn’t call us to carry somebody around for the rest of our life. He might place us in somebody’s path for a period of time, and then once they get on their feet it might be time to move on to the next hurting person.

Realizing that, I think it’s really important to make sure that we’re not just giving somebody a fish, as the saying goes, but we’re teaching them how to fish. We’re showing them where they, too, can get the joy, the peace, the comfort, the love that they might see in us. Though there are definitely times where we do need to “feed” somebody, they are going to have to know how to fish sooner or later. As we help them, we need to also be saying, “Hey, don’t look at me. I’m broken just like the next guy! Here’s where you can find the Provider.”

I hope this made sense. When I write, I tend to say the same thing about five different ways. I apologize if it makes it difficult to follow or to read! It’s just the way things tend to come out of my head. I often end up revisiting the entry several times and editing it, cleaning it up, rewording something — anything I can to help the coherence of it.

I constantly am “preaching” (more to myself than to anyone) that we ought to just try to honor God in every little thing in life, wherever we are, whatever we’re doing.

This afternoon, I had an interesting experience. We were rushing to get a deposition out to an attorney’s office in Clayton, Missouri. It was about 4:40, and the attorney was going to be at her office until 5:30.

If traffic wasn’t bad, I figured I might be able to make it there in 45 minutes. If traffic was bad (keep in mind, this takes me through the heart of St. Louis during rush hour), who knows how long it would take?

Well, as soon as the deposition was ready to go, I ran down the stairs, out the front door, across the lawn, and jumped into the car — which I had already started several minutes earlier, in order to save valuable seconds. I pulled out of our driveway at 4:38 and started for St. Louis.

A few minutes into my drive, I found myself hovering around the speed limit and then creeping above it. I was tempted to just ignore the speed limit on those quiet country roads and reason that it’s okay this one time because I’m in a hurry and every little second matters.

Well, I caught myself and finally decided that if I was going to make it on time, I was going to make it without speeding. I couldn’t justify intentionally speeding just in order to make it on time. So I more or less made a deal with myself, that if we’re going to do this, it’s going to be without cheating. So off I went.

Minutes after I made that decision, I drove through a pretty populated area with a bunch of stoplights and a lot of traffic. To my amazement, I was hitting green light… after green light… after green light. I even managed to get a green arrow just at the right time. Not only was I hitting the green lights, but traffic, though it was pretty heavy, was moving surprisingly fast.

As I got ready to cross over the Poplar Street Bridge and into St. Louis, I was expecting to have a slowdown. Almost any other time I drove through that area of I-64 around that time of day, there would for sure we some bumper-to-bumper traffic, some significant delays, and quite possibly periods of just sitting still.

Again, traffic was pretty heavy, but there was hardly any slowdown, all the way through to the exit for Clayton. I ended up hitting Clayton around 5:15 or so. I found the law office, parked, and hurried on up to the sixth floor, delivering the depo with 10 or 11 minutes to spare.

As I think about it, it really doesn’t make much sense. That was one of the worst possible times to be driving through St. Louis, and the fact that traffic was moving so quickly and that I hit an amazingly low number of stoplights, it just really makes me realize how in any situation, we never have an excuse to do the wrong thing or to try to bend the truth. As the saying goes, there’s never a right time to do the wrong thing.

What’s so neat is this was just another reminder to me how much God loves it when we are obedient. Even if it’s not a life-or-death situation, God loves us to obey Him just as best as we can, to have integrity, to strive to do everything unto Him. And when we do that, He rewards us. This was a great example for me, and I think it will serve as a reminder to always do what’s right.

God can make up the difference. I was thinking, “Gosh, I really do kind of need to speed in order to have a chance.” Yet I made it, and I didn’t have to give in. Even if I didn’t make it, I would at least know that I did my best without compromising.

If wasn’t a huge moral decision, but to me it’s just a good example of a lot of situations we might have in life, where it would be convenient to be able to shade the truth, to tell a white lie, to try to cheat a little bit on something. Time and time again, I’m reminded that not only are we sinning by doing that, but when we strive to keep our integrity, it seems so often God rewards us and even exalts us to a place we wouldn’t have been had we compromised!

So guys, keep obeying God, in every little thing. It’s not like we can impress God with anything that we do, but He does know our hearts, and He knows if we are giving it our all. That’s all we can do, and that’s all He asks of us!

http://metrotix.com/r.php?action=event&eventId=2074

Wouldn’t that be something? I just really love Chris Tomlin’s worship songs. I had a chance to see him in concert a few years ago, and that was such an awesome worship experience!

That really isn’t too expensive, either. I bet it’d be a great time.

I spent a long time last night trying to find a certain verse to sum up my thoughts on my previous entry. I was just drawing a blank as to what it was or where it was located, so I just dropped it and went to bed.

I just checked out BibleGateway.com and looked at their Verse Of The Day.

Ephesians 6:12-13

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Exactly what I was trying so hard to find last night but yet, strangely, couldn’t. This afternoon, I find it without even trying. Thanks, God!

You know what’s funny? I have six or seven topics that I scratched out in a Notepad file — things I want to write about — but I have something totally separate on my mind now. Oh, well.

I wonder if you can relate to this. Have you ever had a situation where you just are doing your absolute best to follow God’s will, you can see confirmations all over that you are exactly where He wants you to be, yet not everybody sees it that same way? Maybe a friend or a family member is critical or discouraging. Maybe you’re wondering how it can be — that you know you’re where God wants you, but at the same time not all is peaceful? We wonder, What gives? Where did I go wrong? Where did I stray?

Well, as hard as it is to believe sometimes, you might be exactly where God wants you to be. Even if your family might not understand it or you experience a lot of resistance from your friends, don’t think it means you’ve gone off the deep end.

John 16:33

In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

We’re actually guaranteed trouble when we’re following Jesus. We need to understand that the devil is very real. His goal for our lives is to throw a monkey wrench in God’s plan, to derail us however he can. If he can tempt us or talk us out of following God, I think that’s what his first course of action is. But what about if we are sticking with God’s will? What if we aren’t budging? What’s a devil to do?

If the devil knows he can’t lure you away and that you’re just not going to disobey God, then he goes to Plan B: Make it as miserable, as discouraging, as intimidating as possible. Even though you won’t budge, maybe he can distract you enough, maybe he can wear you out, maybe he can scare you off, maybe he can get you to question yourself, to wonder if you really did hear God right.

Have you ever had this happen? You can’t be more sure that God is leading you somewhere, yet, inexplicably, things are turning sour? Personally, I’ve had that happen time and time again. And I really believe that when the devil finally gets that I’m just not going to give in on something, then he’ll do his best to just throw rocks at me and to heckle me however he can.

It seems one of the main tactics with that is to introduce some confusion or misunderstanding into a situation, where perhaps, with no good reason, somebody will just take something I said in a manner completely different than how I meant to deliver it, or maybe for some reason people are unusually discouraging about whatever it is that I’m doing.

I’m not suggesting that anyone who questions you is demon-possessed; I’m just saying that I think the devil thrives in doing anything he can to introduce confusion, misunderstanding, hurt, or conflict into a situation. Sometimes the problems may come from the most unexpected source, where, for some reason, somebody is just very strongly against whatever it is God has just told you to do.

Galatians 6:9

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Let’s not give up. Don’t be discouraged; don’t be intimidated. Let’s just stay true to doing exactly what God is calling us to do. Whether you have 100 followers or 100 hecklers, still stay the course. Sometimes, it may seem uncanny how much flak you receive when all you’re doing is trying to surrender every little thing to Jesus.

It can even be frustrating sometimes to not have everybody see something your way. Sometimes, I’ll sigh and think, “Gosh, if only I could explain the whole story to this person, then maybe they won’t be so critical. Maybe they’ll see where I’m coming from, and things will be peaceful.”

Unfortunately, we don’t have that luxury a lot of times. We would go crazy if we spent our whole life trying to get every skeptic to see things our way, to make sure that nobody ever disagrees with us. Sometimes, we just need to let go, give the situation to God, and keep on keeping on.

Joshua 24:15 (I love the Bible!)

But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.

Keep it up, guys.

Tonight, Paul and I went over to the downtown YMCA. I made a little more progress on lifting weights, as I was able to bench-press 200 pounds three times. For me, it’s really encouraging simply because it shows progress. Last week was 195 pounds, and the week before 190. It’s just a nice feeling to be able to do something you couldn’t do before, even if it’s a minor accomplishment.

I realized today that I’ve been working out for a good 11 weeks or so, and when I look back to early November when I first got back into the routine, I can see how much progress has been made in those roughly 35 workouts. Now, nearly three months later, there’s an obvious difference.

I’m really happy that I’ve managed to stay with it so far. Even though it’s only three workouts a week that I’m shooting for, this just reminds me how if I stick with them, go and do them faithfully, results are inevitable. If I can just get in this routine and “forget” about it for a while, not really expecting to see results the next day, week, or even month, then looking back after a few months, it’s obvious to see the change.

So I’m going to try to keep this entry handy so I can remind myself whenever I feel uninspired or like my workouts are pointless, or even when I feel like skipping a workout. The progress is a result of a collection of single workouts. One at a time, day by day, repetition by repetition. Each one matters, and if I just view them all as a drop in the bucket, and if I remain faithful with it and patient through the months, then it’s going to work. I just need to remember that the next time I’m trying to talk myself out of working out.

In other news, it sounds like Paul, I, and one of the other big guys are headed to Jupiter. Now, before you get too excited about the prospect of me leaving the planet, we’re going to Jupiter, Florida. (Sorry to get your hopes up. ;-))

The Cardinals hold their Spring Training sessions down there, and we, d/b/a Cardinal Country, plan to be down there to cover some of the goings on. Should be a lot of fun! Mark and I had a chance to spend a couple of days in Jupiter last year, and we had a really good time.

Note: As I review this, I just… I think I’ve barely scratched the surface. Be ready for some entries. Also, would you pray for me? I’m just trying to sort out all these different things that I’m wanting to write about, and it’s getting a bit overwhelming. Thank you so much!

Well, I’ve been praying about this, thinking about it a lot, and I think I may have a grasp on just what it is that I’m trying to express.

The past month or so, there has been a whole lot to think about in terms of relationships. I can think of several cases right off the top of my head where people we know have had some serious relationship/marriage difficulties. A few resulted in divorce, and there are some others that are kind of shaky at the moment. I’ve learned some information in the past few days that really showed me just how messy things can get.

On top of this, Mom’s birthday was a few days ago, and I wrote that long entry about how much I admire and respect her, how much I would love to be able to find somebody who will turn into the kind of wife and mother that she has been for nearly 30 years.

I’m kind of seeing two extremes here. I’m seeing what can happen when people separate or have issues — seeing how bitter it can become, how much hurt there must be, how much regret. Then I’m also seeing this amazing story of all the good that can come out of a relationship.

So this has got me wondering, how in the world do I make sure that a relationship I would enter into would be the latter? Is it simply hit-or-miss? Just a coin flip? Not at all. But then, if that’s true, how come people have these problems? I mean, who would enter into a relationship with the idea of it falling apart in a few years or thinking that they would regret it 10 years down the road?

That’s what’s scary. Nobody plans on this. Everybody at the altar is hoping for happily ever after. Why then is it that in a short amount of time things can change so drastically?

It is really scary. I know how easy it can be to fall for somebody and then how all of a sudden objectivity goes out the window. Suddenly, major concerns are minimized. Problems are downplayed. You’re kind of rooting for it to work, to be a nice story. I’ve had this happen many times, and it really is alarming how silly your reasoning may become. It really is like being intoxicated in a sense, and what’s really scary is that people make some of the most important decisions of their life while “under the influence.”

It never ceases to amaze me how differently I see things after I’ve sobered up. When I like somebody or am attached to them, it is really impossible for me to make sound decisions in regards to a lot of things. It’s kind of embarrassing to admit, but it’s true.

Realizing my tendencies, my past history, I want to do everything I can to avoid making a bad decision while not in my right mind. I need some sane person I can look to, I can cling to, who I know has my best interests in mind and is not going to fall victim to the charm of whatever girl it is that I’m interested in. Thank God for family members who want me to get married but also who want me to make sure that it’s the right person.

You know, I am trying to figure out where I’m going with this. To be honest, I am not exactly sure. I know that I have a lot more that’s on my mind that I want to share, but it may be best to make several entries. That should keep things more organized.

I hate to leave an entry without wrapping it up or coming to a conclusion, so let me try this.

Basically, I am very troubled by all of the problems that can come with relationships. I see people divorcing, people being unfaithful. Or, even in solid marriages, the family so often isn’t what it could be or should be.

I’m not going to let myself get scared off, because I have also seen what a relationship could be, what a marriage could be. So what I’m on a mission to figure out is, How do I get that? What’s it going to take? What do I need to sacrifice? What do I need to look for in a girl?

It is extremely comforting to know that, despite all of the problems that are so prevalent today, this can be done! So now my mission is to just figure out how. How can I become the best husband and father? How can any given girl become the best wife and mother?

Anybody reading this, I’d strongly, strongly encourage you to set out on a mission to become nothing short of the perfect mother/wife/father/husband that God has given you the ability to be. You’ll have to deny yourself, and it will probably be uncomfortable at times. The rewards, however, are incredible. I know this is going to be worth fighting for.

I’ve been sitting here for a few minutes with a blank page in front of me. It’s not often that I find myself really struggling to find the words to express what’s on my heart. Tonight, though, I’m having a difficult time writing it out.

This cursor keeps blinking, and I just can’t figure out what to say. Maybe if I step away from this for a while, something will come to me. Hopefully I’ll come up with something soon! I bet I will. Sometimes it just helps to shift gears mentally, and then when I come back to it, I’ll have a fresh perspective on something.

On an unrelated note, I made another YMCA visit today.

I’ve been wanting to make an entry lately, but it seems like I just haven’t managed to find the time to do. I’ve been keeping really, really busy, getting a lot of work done, working on court reporting, working out, and it seems like after all that is done, I’m finding myself at 9:00 or 10:00 in the evening.

I’m not complaining in the least, but I just think it’s kind of funny how when I feel like I have a lot to write and I have a lot going on, I actually find myself with less time to actually sit down and put it to words. But I’ve made it tonight, so here we go.

On the workout front, yesterday I went to the Y with Paul and James. I’m still making an effort to go three times a week, and I’m thinking of mixing in some DDR sessions in our basement on the off days. Something to maybe jump-start the metabolism a little bit.

Work-wise, I have managed to be very productive the past week. When it comes to scoping (proofreading) deposition pages, my all-time record used to be somewhere in the vicinity of going through 220 in a 24-hour period.

On Thursday, I managed to scope roughly 260 pages, just shattering my previous record. Saturday, I took it a step further and went through 333 pages. Today, I hit somewhere around 210 pages.

Of course, it’s always a good feeling to set personal records, but more so I’m just really pleased because I know it’s very beneficial for the business and, in turn, the family. If I’m able to remain this focused, then I think it will really help out.

I can’t even really explain why I’ve managed to be so productive lately. There have been plenty of days in the past where I have devoted to scoping depos, and I might have topped out at 120 or 150 pages. There are plenty of variables from deposition to deposition as far as difficulty, speed, et cetera, so that certainly accounts for some of it. And another factor, I’m sure, is my momentum with it all, that since I have been getting a lot done, I almost don’t want to stop.

One more thing, I think, that has been helpful is that I’ve just been really been able to stay focused. When I’m trying to juggle even just two or three different things, it could really slow me down. But if I have nothing to do, nothing to think about except for this transcript that’s in front of me, then it’s hard to get distracted. But if I have a lot of things I can do or if I start goofing off, it can be really hard to just get in a groove.

So anyway, I am not entirely sure what’s going on, but I’m just extremely thankful that God has allowed me to get some work done lately. I like the idea of just having a few tasks that I have to do or that I have to think about, because then I can just throw my entire being into taking care of those. Juggling a lot of different tasks — or even just thoughts or problems — can really kind of take away from my efficiency.

And, lastly, efficiency isn’t everything. The measure of success isn’t how many pounds I bench-pressed, how many minutes I spent working on court reporting, or how many pages I scoped in a day. But through this all, I almost feel like I’m just sharper on all fronts — with my relationship with God, my prayer time each morning, my Bible reading in the evening, the time spent with the family, with the chubs. It’s like quality time with God and the family has only improved, even though, logically, I’m busier than I had been.

I just thank God for this setup, where I have such a great job and such a wonderful environment to work and to study. I don’t want to take this for granted, so I need to be sure I throw my all into it.

Well, I’d better bring this thing to an end. It has really gotten inflated, and I didn’t mean for it to get so long! I also have a few entries I want to make on some more serious veins, so I’ll hopefully be able to get to them pretty soon. In the meantime, I have jotted down a couple of main points in a Notepad file so I don’t forget what was on my mind.

Well, as I mentioned in my previous entry, today Mom and David share a birthday. And, as I also alluded to, I am just so blown away by my mom. She has just been such a tremendous example to me, proving just what kinds of traits and characteristics are so important as a mom and a wife. I would say that Mom has just set such a standard for me to know what wife can be, and it’s very encouraging for me to realize that it is possible to find someone who approaches life similar to how she has the past 27-plus years.

As I try to break it down in my mind, the formula is really nothing too fancy. There’s her love for God, her love for the family, the Holy Spirit living in her, her patience, her selflessness, her humility, her work ethic, and her joy. I’m sure I could find other characteristics that would also describe her, but these are some of the biggies that come to mind.

What really strikes me is that none of these traits or attributes are complicated. In fact, they are readily available to most anyone. What I think is so rare is to have someone who practices these things all the time — or makes a very sincere effort to do so.

I think most everyone has their joyful moments, their humble moments, their patient moments — and so on and so forth — but with Mom, I can see how these have become part of her personality. The rare exception is to catch her at a time where she is not displaying these traits.

Mom just flat-out amazes me. What is all the more amazing to me is that she was not born with these qualities — that is to say that she doesn’t just, for some reason, never get tired, or hungry, or upset, or inpatient, or worried. Yet, somehow, she has managed to train herself to live this way, through the pain, the discomfort, the uncertainty. It is so inspiring how, through little decision after little decision, she has built up such a history.

You could argue that I’m biased or partial to my mom. And I’d agree, and I’d think that most anyone would be partial to their parents, because God has designed us to love and respect our family members. But bias or no bias, I think that Mom sparkles. Almost literally — I just think she sparkles, and that’s the best way I can describe it.

Through Mom, I think I’ve also been learning what true beauty REALLY is. She is now 47 and has just so much beauty in every way — she has disciplined herself to stay in good shape and, more so, her personality is beautiful. For me, this is especially important because I think I’m at the age — as are a lot of young, single guys, I would suspect — where it’s just incredibly easy to fall in love with a pretty face.

The thing I love about my mom is that her beauty is so natural. Sure, she wears makeup, takes care of her hair, like to dress attractively — just like any other girl. But it’s all to complement what’s already there, and to me it never falls into the realm of being artificial. To me, it seems like she has found a perfect balance.

You know, I was just starting to stray from the initial point of this entry. I was getting into an area where I was sharing my thoughts on natural/artificial beauty. While I have a lot to say on that, I think I’ll save it for another time, because I want to focus on Mom for this one.

One thing that really stands out as me is that, really, anyone could do this. Anyone can deny themselves, can surrender their lives to Jesus, can devote themselves to God and to their family, can choose to stay in shape. It is just so, so, so many little decisions. So many decisions to not put yourself first, but to serve somebody else. Not to worry about your needs or your wants but to turn that energy into helping somebody else.

There are countless examples that I can give, but it just is so interesting to me that this is so rare but yet it’s so attainable. If anybody really wanted to sell out their lives to becoming the best possible mom and wife, then they could totally do that. The thing is, it does involve plenty of sacrifice, plenty of denying of yourself, a lot of going against your will. It involves pain, discomfort, a lot of times where you’ll choose to give of yourself for the betterment of your family. But, it can be done.

Basically, I am so thankful for my mom. She has been a wonderful mom, I can tell she has been a wonderful wife, and I really think that she is just a perfect example of what I’m looking to find in a potential wife. It can be kind of discouraging to look around and see how, even in Christian arenas, it’s so rare to see somebody who seems to meet these standards.

What’s encouraging is that I don’t need to look. If I did look, I’d probably go crazy. But if anybody were to ask me what qualities and what characteristics I would search for in a wife, I could just point them to Mom. It’s kind of a shame I can’t rewind the tape 25 years to see what she was like at my age, but I’m sure that so many of these qualities had manifested themselves in her life even when she was a young adult.

Thankfully, God has a plan for my life, and it’s not up to me to run a search. God knows what I need, what will be the best fit for me, and if He cares so much about smaller things, then certainly He is tremendously concerned about the one and only. I can go on living my life with no concern about this, because God is on the job. My job at the moment is to simply do everything I can to prepare to be the kind of husband and dad that I should be, to somehow be close to being deserving of such a wonderful wife. Pretty simple stuff. I love God!