Luke’s Notebook

Colossians 3:15:

“And be thankful.”

Where can I start?

God has given me so much to be thankful for that it’s almost embarrassing when I start to think about everything.  First, I am forgiven.  Jesus has taken my sin; God sees me as pure.  God loves me.  And He likes me.  God is providing and leading, day by day.  I’m so thankful that He is trustworthy.  Unfailing — unable to fail.  Just amazing!

On top of that, I have this family.  I mean, how in the world could I have ever earned this?  It’s not fair.  I don’t deserve it.  But I am so grateful that I somehow find myself in the middle of it.

I have a two-pronged plan.  One, to THANK God for the blessings, the provisions, the mercy, the guidance — everything that He has done and that He continues to do.  Secondly, I’m praying that God would help me not lose this thankful heart.  It is so easy to take things for granted.  I do it way too often.  If I could only be wise enough to see everything around me, and really appreciate the countless things that I tend to overlook most of the time.  I really should be constantly overwhelmed in realizing just how good I have it.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

This evening, I went to the YMCA for the first time in quite a while.  I must have been away for about two months, perhaps even longer.  Of course, we just returned from our long family trip (which I still am hoping to write about, by the by), so obviously it wasn’t that easy to work out over the past several weeks.

Anyway, tonight I managed to drag myself to the YMCA.  It was a pretty typical situation for me in deciding to go:  First, I consider going.  Then, I think, “Ehh… well, I do have some work to do…”  Finally — thankfully — I decide to just throw myself in the car, and go.  And, as usual, I left the Y thrilled that I made myself actually go and work out.

It’s funny how that works.  You would think that I would realize by now that the workouts are worth the discomfort, and thus always be excited to go exercise.  You’d think!  But I guess I’m just not that smart, or my memory isn’t that good.  Either way, it doesn’t reflect real well on me, I suppose.

Tonight was sort of the official kickoff to my off-season workout program.  There is no official regimen that I have, other than to try to work out a lot — burn calories and lift weights.  Immediately, I hope to drop a couple of these fresh vacation pounds before they have a chance to get too comfortable, but my long-term goal is to just to get a little stronger, a little faster, a little leaner.  Seems like a good plan.

It’s always exciting to start something new like this.  I have five months before the 2010 softball season begins, and I know that that is a lot of time, and if I really make the most of the opportunities, I can improve quite a bit by next April!

Unfortunately… tonight, I hit a snag.  In weight-lifting, I started to feel the familiar pain in my left arm.  It’s the same pain that I was having throughout most of the 2008 softball season and pretty much all of 2009.  I am nearly positive it is a result of throwing the ball.  I must have injured it initially in early 2008, and it just never fully healed.  There would be good days and bad days, but it seemed like the pain wasn’t going away.

I can’t say that I was anticipating this, but now that I think about it, it shouldn’t really surprise me.   A few months ago, when I was last working out, I was having similar issues.  And even in the recent weeks, in throwing a baseball, softball, or football, I would often feel the pain return.

To be honest, I am pretty disappointed.  The arm pain itself isn’t really that bad, but it is  enough to limit me when lifting weights.  Also, it is discouraging to have the same problem that I had back in 2008, with no real improvement.

To be fair, I don’t know that I have ever given the arm a real rest for any long period of time.  I mean, when I think about it, I went from playing softball three nights of week all through the spring, summer, and fall of 2008, to working out pretty heavily and playing volleyball over the winter months of 2008.  In 2009, I continued to play volleyball and work out until softball began, and then I was playing four or five softball games a week until the fall.  Even on this trip, being away from home for a few weeks, I couldn’t resist the urge to break out my glove or throw a football around.

I would be pretty thrilled if I learned that my arm would completely heal itself if I would just let it rest completely for a while.  It would be hard to abstain from lifting weights or playing volleyball, but I think it would be a worthy sacrifice in order to let the arm recover.

The problem is, I don’t think that would work.  But, perhaps I just never gave the arm a long-enough break to recover fully.

I think I will break down and have a doctor look at the situation.  The pain hasn’t ever been bad enough or disabling enough to really warrant anything like that.  I mean, I have still been able to play ball, and still have been able to work out.  There has been pain, but it would always go away eventually.

The thing I want to avoid, if possible, is entering 2010 with the exact same problem.  I would like to finally know just what is going on, and what is needed to resolve this.

I feel kind of silly writing a long post all about something as trivial as a little arm pain, especially when it’s the type of pain that can be avoided if I simply wouldn’t do certain things.  But this type of stuff means a lot to me, and I would have a hard time sitting out softball games or missing the chance to exercise.

Offhand, it does seem like the smartest thing to do would be to see a specialist, who can help me determine just what exactly is going on.  Once that mystery is uncovered, things will probably make a lot more sense.  Right now, it is just frustrating to have this intermittent pain on my inner elbow, yet not knowing exactly what it is.  Is something torn?  Strained?  Does it need rest?  Physical therapy?  Surgery?

If you would, please keep me in your prayers in regards to this situation.  I just need wisdom on what to do.   I want to be humble enough to just wait things out for a while, if that’s the best medicine.  At the same time, though, I don’t want to be too passive if I am supposed to be proactively doing stuff to rehabilitate the arm.  I’m just not smart enough to figure it out on my own!

Thanks for the prayers.  I really appreciate them!  God is so loving and has such perfect precision with everything that He does.  I know that, whatever is going on here and whatever is going to happen, that He is not going to be surprised, and He has a perfect plan here!

Wow.

This has been a special, special trip!

So much happened.  So many great memories.  Some crazy moments, and some relaxing moments.  Waking up at 5:30 AM one day, 11:30 AM the next.  Work, fun.  Work, fun.

This will take a long time to absorb!  I don’t even know where to start with recounting the trip.  I would like to do that, though.  Maybe I can just do it in bite-sized chunks, instead of trying to take care of everything in one long entry.

I will try to get to that soon.  For now, I am still just taking things in, and settling in here at home.  I’m finally unpacked, which is nice!  I’d been mostly living out of my big suitcase since early October.  It’s good to use the closet again.

Anyway, stay tuned!

Way too often, I am guilty of taking too lightly the attributes of God.

What I mean is, I “know” that God is everlasting, is merciful, is unfailing, is faithful, and so on. I “know” these things, but do I act like it?

I can’t go real deep here since I really need to get to bed in preparation for an early day tomorrow, but I want to share really quickly something that struck me this evening.

God is unfailing. This means he has not failed, will not fail, and CANNOT fail. Ever! In regards to anything!

I mean, how mind-blowing is that?!

If it is really true that God never fails, then that is incredible! That is life-changing.

The message here is so simple: God does not fail! That’s it.

I should stop being surprised when I see God doing something that I can’t do. I should learn by now that He can do things I can never begin to start to even consider thinking about.

This simple truth really blew me away when I took it literally, wondering, “What if God truly IS unfailing??”

Wow. The truth is so simple. It is always my mistake if I ever try to downplay God’s capabilities, such as thinking, “Well, sure, I know as a rule of thumb that God is in charge and all, but I’m afraid this situation is a bit complex.”

How outlandish, when you consider who I am and who He is! I just marvel at His patience with me as I slowly discover different things that are really so painfully obvious!!

So, to sum it up: God is unfailing, always. Get used to it, and live like it’s true!

Well, here we go again!

Tomorrow morning, we embark on an ambitious family trip.  We first head due north, to the upper peninsula area of Michigan.  Later on, we plan to head northeast, to upstate New York.

Should be an adventure.  I am sure we will return with so many new memories of all that is going to happen over the next little while.

Each family trip really turns into the gift that keeps on giving.  While we definitely have plenty of fun during the actual trip, it seems like the memories of them become even more precious months and years afterwards.  Looking at photos and video clips from previous trips brings back so many memories.  Each trip really appreciate in value over time.

Practically speaking, I don’t really know what to expect!  I know we are going far north, and we are likely going to run into some pretty chilly weather.  Also, we have a couple of planned twists to this trip already that will add an interesting dynamic.

So, who knows what will happen?  In a way, I don’t even care!  I’m just looking forward to experiencing it with everyone, and I just thank God so much for putting me in a spot where I get to be a part of all of this.  I get to share the fun times, the stressful times, and everything in between.

Put simply:  This is gonna be fun. Don’t know what will happen, don’t know what God has in store, but I know that we are going to have a great time coming along for the ride!

*Pre Update*

I wanted to give an update on the Palm Pre, as I ordered it a month ago tomorrow (September 11th), and I haven’t really shared anything about it since.

To cut to the chase:  The Pre is goin’ back.  There were some things about it I liked; some I didn’t.  I will try to write more about it sometime (maybe on a cold, wet day in Michigan?), but for now I just want to say that it’s going back, and the BlackBerry is in use yet again.

What will happen from here?  Who knows!  Maybe I will reunite with the Pre someday.  Maybe I’ll give he HTC Hero a try.  Maybe I’ll hold out for the Samsung Moment, coming out on November 1st.  Or perhaps we’ll go after a player to be named later.

Here’s the problem:  They are always coming out with new phones!   Always!  It’s a dual-edged sword.  On the one hand, it’s so neat to see how quickly technology advances.  On the other hand, it makes the decision on what to buy so difficult!

Some people may say, “But Luke, can’t you just pick one phone and be done with the search?”  Well, sure… I could do that.  But honestly now… where’s the fun in that?

So I did it!  I finally took the plunge.

On Friday afternoon, I ordered a Palm Pre.  It was released just over three months ago, and since that time I have had a handful of chances to fiddle around with different Pres.  I should receive mine via UPS on Tuesday.

Now, to be honest, I ordered it based on a few reasons:  One, I got a very good deal, and I won’t have to deal with the regular mail-in rebate.  But what really intrigued me was the fact that I’ll have a 30-day window in which to try it out, and if I don’t like it, I can return it to Sprint for a full refund.

That’s the key.  If not for that offer, I don’t think I would have bought the Pre.  I wouldn’t want to take that gamble, without getting a chance to really test the Pre out.

Now, before I go any further, I want to stress that I do not want to have to return the Pre!  I want to like it, and  I really hope that I do.  If I do have to ship it back to Sprint, it will be a bummer.

Right from the start, I know that the Pre is going to be a significant upgrade from my BlackBerry Curve in many ways:

• Larger, higher-resolution screen.
• Touch screen.
• Accelerometer.
• Wifi.
• Attractive operating system/interface.
• Better camera.
• Much better web browser.
• Future Flash support.
• Revision A.  In simple terms:  Every form of Internet access on the Pre will be faster than on the BlackBerry, thanks to the Revision A hardware.  Lower latency and lower ping times mean a faster response, whether it’s web browsing, using a program, or streaming video.  It should be a substantial upgrade across the board.
• Multitasking.  The way the Pre (well, webOS) handles multitasking is really impressive.  You can easily flip from one app to another.  The BlackBerry can technically multitask, but it isn’t nearly as elegant as the Pre’s approach.

Now… unfortunately, there are a handful of concerns which make me not entirely sure if I’m going to keep the Pre.  Granted, these concerns are unverified, as I haven’t had a chance to put a Pre through its paces, and observe just how it would work  for me as an everyday phone.

With that disclaimer, here are the concerns:

• Battery life.  There have been widespread reports of very poor battery life.  This could obviously be a deal-breaker.
• The slide-out keyboard.  On my BlackBerry, the keyboard is ever-present.  Will it be a hassle to have to slide it out all the time?  One encouraging thing here is that there is also an on-screen keyboard available for the Pre, which may work nicely for those times where I need to just tap out a few words.
• WebOS.  WebOS is Palm’s brand-new operating system that was introduced with the Pre.  Due to its newness on the scene, obviously it is not very mature.  This means potential bugs, missing features, and the like.  While the operating system may have a lot of potential, is it complete and full-featured enough to use full-time?
• One-handed use.  Again, another unknown.  How will the Pre work in those times where I’m trying to multitask?  Will it require both hands?  Maybe it won’t.  I just don’t know.
• Can it possibly trump the BlackBerry’s implementation of messaging, address books, and calendars?  This is a huge question mark.  I love how easy the BlackBerry is, what a great messaging device it is.  Granted, it’s not the sleekest device out there, but what it does it does tremendously well.  Is it even possible for the Pre to compete?
• Alerts.  I currently have five e-mail accounts set up on my BlackBerry.  I have separate notification sounds and behaviors for all five of those.  I also have different alerts for text messages, for alarms, for calendar events, Facebook notifications, and BlackBerry Messenger messages.  If the Pre can’t let me differentiate the notification sounds/vibrations for different events, would that get too irritating?

Most of the cons of the Pre are unsubstantiated as of now.  There are definite concerns, but I think the only way to know for sure is to use it.  Since Sprint offers this 30-day return window — and actually encourage me to buy it and try it out — then it’s a really nice opportunity.  I don’t have to make a commitment yet.

I really do hope I like the Pre.  It’s a very attractive phone.  I like a lot of things about it.  Right now, prior to having the phone, I would set the odds at 50/50.  I really don’t know how the Pre will do.

The trial should begin on Tuesday, when the phone is supposed to arrive.  I’m really excited, because after months of closely following the Pre in the news, I will finally get a chance to give it a fair shot.

It was nearly a year ago that I had the HTC Mogul/BlackBerry Curve shootout, where the BlackBerry pulled off an improbable victory over the heavily-favored Mogul.  Back then, when I initially bought my BlackBerry, I was nearly sure that I would turn around and sell it as soon as I could.  But, the BlackBerry really grew on me, and I said goodbye to the Mogul.

So based on recent history, I know that my initial hunch could be dead wrong.  That is exactly why I am very excited to have a month-long trial period with the Pre.  Like I said, I really hope it works well.  I don’t plan to nitpick, so  if it can do a reasonably good job of things, I will likely keep it.  If it is a bit of a disappointment, then I will simply send it on back to Sprint, and reunite with my BlackBerry.

I still have a hard time believing that I’m able to even think about using these state-of-the-art phones.  It is incredible how technology has progressed, and I just know I’m so fortunate to be a part of this large family cell phone plan, which enables me to have a phone with Internet access.

What’s fun is that, really, this all is pretty inconsequential.  Whether I use a Pre, a BlackBerry, or a phone to be named later (HTC Hero?) doesn’t really count for much. I just have always loved technology.  It’s a big hobby of mine, and it’s a fun outlet.

So… BlackBerry or Pre?  We shall know soon. We shall know soon…

August 31 was a very special day for me because it is the 10-year anniversary of when I officially — or formally — gave my life to Jesus, and invited Him to take over.

I remember how I was at a youth group on August 31, 1999.  The leader, Kirk, brought up the question of how can you know if you’re saved, if you’re going to Heaven.  He then basically said that, if there would be any doubt in anyone’s mind, it was a good time to make it official — right then and there.

I grew up, obviously, in a Christian home, and always tried to be a good person.  That day was a defining moment if only to seal the deal, to put it into writing.

Speaking of writing, the group leader also suggested that anyone who has made this commitment should go home and write it down in your Bible.  That way, he explained, we will always have a reminder.  Even though it’s not a legal document per se, it’s something we can look at in times of weakness and remind ourselves, “No, I belong to God.   This paperwork proves it.”

That night, I went home and wrote on a blank page in my Bible, “On August 31, 1999, I gave my life to Jesus!”

I have a different Bible now, but I still have that page in my desk drawer.  It just serves as a great reminder to me that the transaction was completed, that I “legally” belong to God.

10 years is a long time, almost half of my life at this point.  Since then, the 14-year-old Luke has grown up, matured, solidified, and wised up.

What amazes me in looking back on this past decade is that I’m still a work in progress.  You would hope that after 10 years of training and experience, I would have arrived by now.

Seeing the standard of absolute perfection that is set for me, and then seeing how far I fall short on a daily basis, I can get discouraged realizing that I’m still not perfect, even after all this time.

But I have recently had a new take on this.  God has been incredibly patient with me. He has loved me and cared for me this entire time, even while I was still a little more rough around the edges or had farther to climb.

It really is amazing.  God didn’t spend my first five years shaming me and pointing out everything that I need to improve upon.  I think God, in His mercy, doesn’t always hit us with all of our shortcomings at once.  If He did, then how discouraging would that be!

The standard never changes.  Sin is never okay.  But… somehow, God is able to just constantly condition you, slowly revealing different areas you might want to work out.

A good example is, once again, physical fitness.  Back in my heavier days — in fact, a good eight or 10 years ago — I was close to 250 pounds, and definitely not in the best condition.

If somebody were to have told me that I absolutely NEED to lose 50 or 60 pounds and gain a lot of muscle — and I need to do it right now — then I just would have been really disheartened.

But a good personal trainer will just say, “Okay.  Let’s just lift these weights a while.  Okay.  Now, let’s just run on the treadmill a while.”

Legally speaking, a trainer could just say, “Well, all I can tell you is that you need to lose 60 pounds, you need to build a lot of muscle, and you need to be able to run a mile in under six minutes.”  That would have been true, but it probably would have been so far out of sight that I would have just thrown in the towel.

See, God has every right to point out all of my flabby areas and to demand immediate action.  He really does.  But what just makes me love Him so much is that He does things so mercifully.  He knows that I’m on board, and that I’m committed.  And instead of just completely shaking my world and showing me a list of thousands of things I need to work on, He just says, “Okay, let’s just do this a while.”

If sin was not that big of a deal in the first place, then this wouldn’t really be too terribly significant.  But when I realize how serious sin is, it just highlights how incredible God’s mercy is, and how patient He has been — and still is — with me.

Happy birthday, me!  An amazing decade!

Here’s an idea for a nice date:  Ice cream (and maybe a few Butter Burgers?) at Culver’s, and then some time spent at the batting cages or miniature golf.   Recently, it just kind of struck me that Culver’s would be a great place to take a date.  Sounds great!  Let’s do it!

There’s one thing missing in my plans:  The girl.  Any volunteers??

Okay, so I’m not really putting out a public invitation.  But in thinking about how ice cream + batting cages would make a fun little date, it’s obvious that a girlfriend is an important piece of the puzzle here.

But you know what?  I’m not really too worried about it.  Yeah, all the time I am thinking of different things that would make for a fun outing.  And while I will admit that part of me really looks forward to that whole dynamic, life is not exactly on pause while I’m single.

In fact, I think it must be God’s incredible wisdom and timing that is still keeping me unattached.  If I was in a relationship right now, I just don’t know where I would get the time and resources to be able to do it justice.

God, knowing me and knowing my tendencies, also knows that it would really frustrate me if I had found the perfect girl, yet I couldn’t find any time to spend with her, to get to know her.  I would so much want to “do it right,” and it would be really tough if I wasn’t able to focus on her like I would want to.

It’s gotta be God.  For one, it makes perfect sense.  Why in the world would He give me such a great privilege and responsibility if I didn’t have the ability to handle it?  Also, I just know a few things:  God knows me.  He knows my name, my age, my location, my situation.  He is incredibly capable — more so than I can even begin to wrap my mind around.  “He can’t” is just a phrase that doesn’t apply to God.  Finally, God’s timing is impeccable.

With God’s timing, though, I think it’s important to remember that while He is never late, He is also never early.  He’s just right on.

My preference is to have something in-hand long before I actually need it.  I like to arrive extra early for appointments, just in case.  I like padding or room for error, if you will.

Well, I err.  I misjudge.  I forget.  I get lost.  But God does not.  He doesn’t need a backup.  He doesn’t need a Plan B when His Plan A is perfect.

By now, I really should have learned that “As for God, his way is perfect.” (Psalm 18:30)

It really is!  The more I remember that, the better.  But for now, I’ll just have to add “Culver’s + batting cages” to the to-do list.

August is over halfway over, and it feels like I have spent most of this month in stunned silence.  It has almost been overwhelming, how many things God has been doing.  I see such vivid examples of His enormous love, of His incredible mercy, of His impeccable timing.

I wish I could expound on these, but right now a I’m little short on time.  It is very late, and I need to be in downtown St. Louis in several hours for a depo.  I was hoping to get a little bit of sleep between now and then!

But… wow.  God is so real.  His promises are so real.  He doesn’t do anything halfway.  Here on Earth, surrounded by imperfect people, you’re just not real accustomed to things being literal.

I am so excited, and I would love to share some more.  Hopefully I will find some time soon to fill in a few blanks!  But for now, just remember that God is so capable.  All we need to worry about is obeying Him.